note:long entry ahead
yes, i took some time off the computer/internet to give way to my dear siblings. unfortunately, well for me at least, they're growing up to be more *cough* abang-abang, which means they need to socialise more, hence the increasing time spent on the internet, or more specifically, MSN.
luckily, i had no chance whatsoever to actually miss using the computer/msn. thanks should be extended to my darling teachers who have been giving us with materials to fill our time with. no more complaints - 'o' levels are damn approaching at high speed! it gets scary sometimes, especially when i just want to slack around, daydream, or even better, sleep! too bad i have such a clean conscience who keeps irritating me.
no computer = more time thinking.
i've been thinking in retrospect for quite a bit and i can confidently say, i bear no more hatred to anyone. i realised that there's no use in hating him, or anyone for that matter, for the only person that'll end up feeling all the hurt will be myself. its best to let go, and alhamdulillah, i have. it wasnt easy, trust me, but after much reading and thinking, im convinced that im doing what's best for myself and whoever that'll cross my path.
whatever happened in the past, happened for a reason. if i were to have lead a different life before this, i highly doubt i'd be the person that i am today. i dont think i'd be mature enough to face life as it is, nor would i be sensible enough to decipher right and wrong. i love my family, including him, for they were the ones, and will continue to be ones who will stand by me in times when i need them the most and the people that'll accept me for who i am. and of course, baby me like nothing for being the only girl in the family!
well at least in spore context
so you see, alhamdulillah, now i've been enlightened of the heavy load that had been strangling me for the past, 5-6 years? it doesnt matter anymore.
i've learnt to love myself, as who i really am. there's no point running away from the truth now. it has all boiled down to the one thing that's most important - serving the Almighty. insyAllah
im a free person. finally.
yes, i took some time off the computer/internet to give way to my dear siblings. unfortunately, well for me at least, they're growing up to be more *cough* abang-abang, which means they need to socialise more, hence the increasing time spent on the internet, or more specifically, MSN.
luckily, i had no chance whatsoever to actually miss using the computer/msn. thanks should be extended to my darling teachers who have been giving us with materials to fill our time with. no more complaints - 'o' levels are damn approaching at high speed! it gets scary sometimes, especially when i just want to slack around, daydream, or even better, sleep! too bad i have such a clean conscience who keeps irritating me.
no computer = more time thinking.
i've been thinking in retrospect for quite a bit and i can confidently say, i bear no more hatred to anyone. i realised that there's no use in hating him, or anyone for that matter, for the only person that'll end up feeling all the hurt will be myself. its best to let go, and alhamdulillah, i have. it wasnt easy, trust me, but after much reading and thinking, im convinced that im doing what's best for myself and whoever that'll cross my path.
whatever happened in the past, happened for a reason. if i were to have lead a different life before this, i highly doubt i'd be the person that i am today. i dont think i'd be mature enough to face life as it is, nor would i be sensible enough to decipher right and wrong. i love my family, including him, for they were the ones, and will continue to be ones who will stand by me in times when i need them the most and the people that'll accept me for who i am. and of course, baby me like nothing for being the only girl in the family!
well at least in spore contextso you see, alhamdulillah, now i've been enlightened of the heavy load that had been strangling me for the past, 5-6 years? it doesnt matter anymore.
i've learnt to love myself, as who i really am. there's no point running away from the truth now. it has all boiled down to the one thing that's most important - serving the Almighty. insyAllah
im a free person. finally.
It is Allah Who created you in a state of (helpless) weakness, then gave (you) strength after weakness, then, after strength, gave (you) weakness and a hoary head: He creates as He wills, and it is He who has all knowledge and power. [Surah ar-Rum: 54]
posted by ika @ 8:47 AM
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