"Ma, is it good to be different?"

The young mother turned to look at her sweet little child. Only reaching her hips, she looked so vulnerable in this world of hypocrisy. She ponders on the question posed. Bewildered at first, but slowly realising that she had been waiting for this moment. Just not too soon. Not now. Not when her dear daughter was just beginning to live.

"My dear, you're not different. You're special."

For that my dear, you have yet to face the world. You have yet to feel all the negativities of life. Being different is not about being alone, but it is about looking for the people that will compliment you just the way you are.

there are times when i hate being different. times when i feel totally isolated from my peers. i cant help but feel so distant from them, especially if it comes to a point when i cant even look in their direction. its difficult when you're the only one having that mindset, that way of thinking, among your peers. its even more difficult when you point it out and they look at you and roll their eyes.

its not my fault i'm matured

its not my fault i'm straightforward

its not my fault

just like today, during break, while i was happily chewing away, listening to them yak away about the hari raya outing, i was suddenly starkly aware at how selfish they were. one by one. its always what they want, what they feel, what they need, what they did. all individualistic. that's basically how they carry themselves. it gets repulsive at an extent when i just point it out and they looked at me with that look and some begin to stutter defending themselves. see? they cant even accept what others say.

whats even more funny is when they expect you to alway be around for them when they need a listening ear and always give them advice when they have problems or are going through a rough patch in life BUT will just give you the blind eye and completely ignore you when you turn to them. nice of them right? oh and when you don't listen to them or give good advice, they'll ostracize you.

i'm sick of being the person that people turn to. i'm sick of being taken forgranted. i'm sick of always having to sacrifice myself for the sake of others. i'm sick of being selfless.

if they can be so selfish, i can be one too.

and fcuk. i think too much. i hate you.