i've lost touch with reality. been living off dreams and hopes all this while.

i dont understand myself anymore.

i cant wait for this to end. so i can breathe again.

i've fallen for you. yes, i admit it. even though i dont want to. its weird. its awkward. its painful. i cant say it out. coz you're my best friend. and i dont want to ruin the friendship that we have.

up till now, i can never commit in a relationship. maybe im scared. or maybe im just turned off by the fact that it'll probably never last and just cause me useless heartache. yes, im pessimistic. i've every right to be. at least im not disillusionised or as stupid as the others who thinks that i-love-this-guy-so-much-we'll-definitely-last-up-till-marriage. yeah right. if you're the lucky few. what the f.

but im human anyway. i do have feelings. and just-so-happened that i fell for you. yes. i've been in denial for too long. argh.

i hate this.