im back. and bored. and my ear still hurts. im starting to think that there's an animal stuck inside. urgh! =(

did i mention that i've started to don the hijab[tudung] now? yeah, so im officially a tudung-ster now. was quite reluctant initially, but heck, i got used to it and actually liked it. so its here to stay.

been thinking alot about life and death. especially death. i really sat down and thought about what i wanted in life and everything, and i guess i have things figured out halfway. im just confused. really. too many things hitting me at one go. i wasnt even able to sit down and study for midyear exams. yes, i didnt study for midyears. what the?? suprisingly, alhamdulillah, i was able to do the papers smoothly. most of the nights was spent stoning and assessing myself, with very very little revision.

why am i punishing myself for what others have done? why am i denying myself of what i deserve? am i going to continue letting the past haunt me? will i ever be able to face them without thoughts of the past? when will i finally let go?

so many questions that's still left unanswered. its getting too much.

the dreaded day's approaching fast. will i be able to run and escape? or will i once again succumb to expectations and be there just for presence's sake?

i dont know. i really dont.

i dont need this. midyears over. insyAllah i'll do well, hopefully as well as under normal circumstances. so whats next?

'o' levels and auuuuustralia! weeeeeeeeeeeeee~

thanx for being there for me. i didnt realise up till then how much i missed our late night/morning conversation that will last for 3-4 hours just by us talking pure nonsence. too bad you're off-limits, but i guess its safer to thread on this basis. only now do i realise that there's really something within your crappy exterior. =)