its sad when you go out and meet your old primary school friends to find that too many things have changed and you're the only person that probably even bothered to care and take notice. everybody was trying to keep up with everybody else, and some faking it. it was painfully obvious that i was too distant from them. was it my fault? was i just plain unwilling to adjust myself to suit them? or was i just growing up too fast. im not sure. but what im sure of is, im sorry guys for leaving halfway. the fact that i was mighty uncomfortable made me leave, plus also the point that i was not in the right state of mind to tolerate any nonsense from people that wont have much mark in my life. selfish? maybe.

i've grown more pessimistic nowadays? why? maybe its due to the reason that i think too much. i think of things that are sometimes insignificant, and then, i thrust the weight of the world on my shoulders. i get so worked up thinking of irrelevant things that sometimes i get too tired and restless. my mind's hyperactiveness is evidently causing me to slowly lose my patience and optimistic views in life. i think of things that at times, im the only person that can relate to.

i want to scream and shout all the incessant thoughts away.

i want to run and hide from all this.

i need a friend.

too bad my understanding of the term friend is way different from yours.