Salam everyone.
Read up.

"Hari raya bukanlah hari hiburan atau liburan tetapi hari mensyukuri nikmat Ilahi dan memelihara kebersihan rohani (kembali fitrah). Sayangnya hampir semua sambutan agama hari ini sudah dikomersilkan."
-Uztaz Ahmad Dahari

Definitely well said.

Subhanallah. Ramadhan is nearing to its end. In fact, today will be last day of terawih prayers. i'll never know if there is ever another chance to meet with this blessed month again. for all i know, i'll meet with an accident tomorrow (nauzubillah), and meet Him sooner than expected. the heart yearns for something it cant get. ramadhan is leaving, a fact i have yet to accept. time flies by too fast, that at times, i regret not being able to do more ibadah during this month. so all im wishing for is that all my deeds and ibadah are accepted and accounted for, insyallah.

"Be more concerned with having your deeds accepted than the deed itself. Did you not hear Allah say: 'Verily Allah, only accepts those from those who fear Him. (i.e. possess taqwaa).' [5:27] "[Lata'if ul Ma`arif, p. 246]
-taken from here.

anyway, anybody going for the following event?



kind of sick isnt it? i mean, pardon me for saying this but hello?! lu otak mana?! yes, its the last day of ramadhan, and the next day is hari raya, so you have every right to celebrate, but like this? the whole thing's so fcuking commersialised that the true meaning of celebrating Eid after a whole month of fasting has so strayed from its path. this night, we're encouraged to proclaim the takbir, to praise Him for all that He has given us - The holy month of ramadhan especially. subhanallah. NOT celebrating like [insert adjective here] with all this hoo haa shit. well, at least not on this one night.tsk tsk.

dear friends, instead of hoo-haaing with the rest of the malay clan, drop by the nearest mosque and join in the takbir, or stay at home with your family and do the last minute preparations for eid celebrations! or maybe, if you have some free time, how about dropping by this event?



its the finale for ryc events this year. - mass takbir over at eunos mrt. youths are encouraged to participate in this event to signify the end of ramadhan and the coming of the new month of syawal. nope, im not doing free publicity but its a genuine request for you to rethink the actual meaning of ramadhan. why waste one whole month of good deeds just by indulging in one night of.. nothing-ness? subhanallah. think about it my friends. and no,i wont be at the mass takbir. insyallah, i'll be at darul makmur close with my loved ones. =)

anyway, i was browsing through islaam.net and i came across this wonderful article. do spend some time and read up. its titled Life after Ramadhan.

now i will have to take my leave and return to my spring cleaning task!

Love,

atikah.

salams people.
glad to be back.
even though its freaking near to midnight and i have class to attend tomorrow.
not to mention i need to get a piece of poetry done for convo ceremony.
yikes!

ok first thing first, i need to mention something.
after more than a month of, eherm, deprivation, i finally get to meet my dinosaur yesterday for iftar. yes, i finally got him to get out of hibernation mode and steal him for a short while, just so i get to see him and nag at him again. heh. it wasnt planned though. it was after sahur, he called, and we decided to iftar together. and then back to sleep. i guess the whole thing only sank in when i woke up a few hours later...

the venue that we chose was made at the spur of the moment. and from the looks of it, i think he regretted it. no wait. he was uncomfortable being there with me. he didnt admit it though, but if a guy refuse to look at you and instead looks everywhere else, feeling self-conscious, well, i should get the idea right? so yeah, we did bump into some of his friends. funny how he always forgets to do introductions. anyway, i've not gotten to the BIG part yet.

I MET HIS FOLKS.
we detoured from going to al-taqwa mosque for maghrib, to, well, his place. being the ever-conservative female [heh!], he had to drag me to his place. I WASNT READY FOR GOD'S SAKE. it was weird, doing my prayers there. trust me. i was at my very best behaviour. fyi, his mom is in USA, and he never knew his dad, so he's staying with his stepgrandma(his grandpa remarried}. but it was the lady who brought him up, so yeah, it was nervewrecking as hell. but apparently, it was for nothing coz i acknowledge me as just a friend, and yeah, i wasnt the first girl he brought home anyway.

he finally realised that i had to leave or i'll reach home at 11. on the way to the bus stop, talked about him getting a car, his job interview, his future education plans. him. it was nice to finally be able to get him to talk about himself, and not just let him hear me rant on and on about nonsensical stuff when all i want to talk about is something totally different. then i realised something. odd.

I was nowhere in his future plans.

maybe im rushing into things. maybe i didnt hear properly. maybe i'm just someone convenient.

at the bus-stop, waiting
Me: Can i talk with another guy over the phone at night?
Him: Up to you.
Me: Can i go out with another guy? Just the two of us?
Him: As you wish. You know your limits.
Me: Are you going to accompany me home?
Him: Do you want me to?
Me: Its up to you.
Him: Then, no i dont think so. Do you mind if i just see you off from here?
Me: *shrugs*

so, i went home the same way i came. alone. it didnt matter. it didnt matter at all. it would've been nice to see me off at least up till bedok interchange though.

so tell me, am i walking willingly into a pot of boiling soup? or am i threading a thin wire over hot stones?

the lower your expectations, the lesser the pain you feel

so, im just a friend, no?


Love,

Atikah.

salams everyone.
how have you been?
fine alhamdulillah i hope.

gosh, i need to rant.
(this is going to be a hell of a jumbled-up entry)

first up, prelims results are up. all i have to say - alhamdulillah. words cannot describe the immense gratitude i feel towards Him. subhanallah. the night when all the results were finalised (after moderation), i teared before Him as i thanked him so.
Prelims 2006
English - B4 [screwed up!!]
Higher Malay - A1
Malay Lit (Full Humans) - A1
Combined Humans (SS & Hist) - A2
E. Maths - A1
A. Maths - B4
P. Physics - A2
P. Chem - B4
L1R5 : 11
yes, i know its only prelims, but insyAllah, i will do much better for 'O's. thats my promise. so please dear Allah, don't let me slack during this last lap. its go go Go! time to sprint baby! i will make myself proud. God Willing.

ok next up, more 'recent' issues.
i realised that with 'o's around the corner, more of us are being faced with obstacles and challenges. dugaan datang bertimpa-timpa beb! and the funny thing, its all mainly due to relationships. what with the full-time jerk boyfriend, the i-hate-you-but-i-love-you syndrome, the ever competitive boyfriend and of course, with regards to yours truly, the who-am-i-to-you question. so yes, not everything's fair in couplesville. sometimes i even wonder whether i SHOULD be there or am i just self-disillusioned to believe that i actually belong there.

its one thing that he's acting like a Chipsmore cookie, sometimes he's around, sometimes he's not, and its another thing to leave me completely hanging waiting for a blardy explanation that never seems to justify. i wont lie that he's got my heart, but if this is the way things are going to be, well, its safe to say that im not willing to go through all this crap. i need to know what the hell is going on in his life, and it doesnt help that he's constantly away in camp and even when he's out, he's staying at the other end of this freaking SMALL island. why oh why did i get stuck to an eastside guy?!?!

conversation's sparse. it fcuking short, what 5 minutes? and that is if he even bothers to call. hello, do you freaking expect me to call you everytime? i have my dignity to speak of. gah. its frustrating when you feel like you're two strangers, not knowing whats going on in the other person's life. its worst when there's a third party who's starting to get involved. but i wont touch on that just yet.

baby, lets work it out shall we?

i love the fact that my friendships with some of the girls in school are growing closer by the minute. after 4 years, its only now when we actually delve into a deeper meaning of friendship. i love you guys (shafiqah & anum)! thank you for allowing me to open up my heart and trusting once again. you're a gem. makcik slengers unite! heh.

im getting stuck on hady mirza's songs. gosh. that is spastic! no offence. but he sounds good. yeah! serenade me to sleep baby!

gosh. i just read the whole freaking entry. *rolls eyes* heh. too bad.
will he call tonight...? im tired of waiting like a fool.

Salams,

Atikah.