Why is it wrong for a j1 first-intaker to actually be doing work?
Why do people gasp and go "WEI, FIRST 3 MONTHS ONLY LAH! STUDY FOR WHAT?!" when they see you stay back to do your tutorials [because if you go home it'll never get done]?

Stupid mentality.

Do you really expect me to throw everything to one side and play like there's no tomorrow (which there will be insyallah) JUST BECAUSE ITS THE FIRST INTAKE?

Thanks, but no thanks.

I wont wait for everything to pile up and hit me at one go just because i wasted 3 months not doing what i'm supposed to do.
yes, i'm a nerd, or whatever you label people like me.
but hey, im the one to gain ANYWAY.

just because its first 3 months, it doesnt acknowledge me with the fact that i can waste my time right?
helloooo. if i had wanted to do that, i'd probably left my PAE form BLANK.

you go to school with an aim. dont tell me you go to school just because of guys (which is probably YOUR reason) or just spend time idling in the cafe (because you skipped classes). wake up for goodness sake. stop wasting your parents' hard-earned money to pay the school fees if you have no intention whatsoever to study. go out and EARN money. do something bloody meaningful. dont just parade around in your branded bags and shoes and whatever else that could possibly be branded and act pretty.

balance.
i'm not saying there's a need to study all the way. thats shit man.
you study AND you play.
be a success.
be someone who makes a difference.
dont just be a little black crow that gets shot down just because people think you're a nuinsance.

so yes, if you continue to live up to that screwed mentality of yours, then may God be with you.

and perhaps, try reading Paulo Coelho's books.
=D

*******

so yes, being a saint isn't so bad after all.
in fact, i'm grateful that i ended up HERE instead of...
you know... ANDJC.
So you see, the phrase We believe no one is here by chance stands. heh.
i LOVE the people, i love the environment, the teachers? omg. omg. omg.
if i had the chance to do so, i'd BEG vlee to come and teach!

just 2 weeks left before the supposed release of results day.
am i prepared?
yes - i've done my best, insyallah, God Willing, i'll be called on stage. =)
have i decided on which jc?
wallahua'lam.
the question remains.

hit me with the pros and cons of staying put in sajc. =D

Salam guys.

Maal Hijrah is just around the corner. Its tomorrow in fact.

So how?

Fireworks anyone?

************

Entering the New Year
by Imâm al-Madîna al-Munawarrah 'Abdul Muhsin Ibn Muhammad al-Qâsim

All praise is due to Allâh, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings of Allâh be upon the Prophet, his family and companions.

Dear brother! Take an investigating look at your past days: what have you provided for your Hereafter in them? Examine yourself stringently for this. Maymûn bin Mihrân said, “The man cannot become pious until he holds himself accountable as he would his business partner.” The rightly guided person is therefore the one who examines and blames himself for his shortcomings and then mends his ways. Lack of self-examination is not a good thing for a Muslim. For the disbelievers caused perdition to themselves because they never thought that there was someone watching them. Allâh says,

“For truly, they used not to expect any reckoning.” (An-Naba’ 78:27)

Seeing one’s faults prevents one from going astray. And knowing that one’s end is the grave makes one become humble to Allâh and prevents ostentation. Abû Dardâ said:

“The Muslim cannot have proper understanding of Islâm until he criticizes people for the sake of Allâh and criticizes himself more.”

Dear brother! When you sit with people, admonish yourself. People watch your outward deeds but Allâh watches your inner deeds. Whoever reforms his inward traits through self-examination and sincerity, Allâh will adorn his outward deeds with success.

Constant remembrance of Allâh’s right upon man and His great blessings makes man bows his head for Allâh as it makes him recognise his weaknesses. It also let him know that there is no salvation except by obeying Allâh and that He should be obeyed and thanked. A scholar said,

“The first step in self-examination is to compare Allâh’s blessings to your sins. Then it will be clear to you that you can never escape from His punishment except by His mercy only.”

Mâlik bin Dînâr said,

“May Allâh bless a man who tells his soul: ‘Are you not the perpetrator of so and so sins?’ And he then reproaches his soul and forces it to abide by the Book of Allâh.”

The most harmful thing that a legally responsible Muslim can do to himself is to abandon self-examination and to indulge in lusts until he perishes. This is actually the situation with those who are deceived by the beauties of this world and depend on Allâh’s forgiveness without making any repentance or abandoning the sins. Allâh says,

“O man! What has made you careless about your Lord, the Most Generous?” (Al-Infitâr 82:6)

Al-Hasan Al-Basrî said,

“A believer should admonish himself and say: ‘What do I intend by the word I utter? What do I intend by the food I eat?’ As for a disbeliever, he does never admonish himself. But the Muslim should always be a watcher over himself.”

Allâh says,

“Verily, those who are the pious, when an evil thought comes to them from Satan, they remember (Allâh), and (indeed) they then see (aright).” (Al-A‘râf 7:201)

Whoever calls himself to account in this world will have easier reckoning on the Day of Resurrection and whoever does not call himself to account in this world will have a difficult reckoning in the Hereafter. Beware of falling into sins, for keeping away from sins is easier than seeking for forgiveness. Days of this world are few and you do not know when you will die. Ask yourself about what you have done in the previous year and ask yourself about what you have provided for the coming year. ‘Umar said: “Call yourselves to reckoning before you are called to reckoning.”

Make a resolution right from the beginning of this year that you will observe your five obligatory prayers in the mosques in congregation. Make a pledge to yourself that you will seek for useful knowledge and spread it. Endeavor to guard your tongue against lie, gossip and immoral talk. Fear Allâh in all that you eat and drink. Abstain from all forbidden things. Be kind to your parents and to your kith and kin. Do well to all people and free your heart from jealousy and hatred. Beware of bad thing about others. Promote good and forbid evil. Carry out your obligations towards your spouses and children in the best possible way and guard your eyes from looking at forbidden things. How beautiful it will be if this New Year is made a positive turning point in the lives of world communities where women properly cover themselves according to the injunctions of Allâh and in following the Sunnah of His Messenger.

Dear brother! Each day in which the sun sets reminds you that your lifespan is diminishing. The wise is the one who learns from his yesterday, struggles for his present day and provides for his morrow. Provide for your tomorrow. The best provision is piety. Allâh says,

“O you who believe! Fear Allâh and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what you do.” (Al-Hashr 59:18)

Fellow Muslims! The first month in Islâmic year is Muharram. It is one of the greatest months. It has been a sacred month since time immemorial and it is one of the months that Allâh sanctified. It was in this month that Allâh gave Prophet Mûsâ victory over Pharaoh. Among its merits is that fasting is recommended in many of its days. The Messenger of Allâh said,

“The best month in which one can fast after Ramadân is the month of Muharram. And the best prayer after obligatory prayers is the night prayer.” (Muslim)

The best day in this month is the day of آshûrâ (the tenth day). Ibn ‘Abbâs said,

“The Prophet came to Al-Madînah and he found the Jews fasting on the day of آshûrâ. He asked them: ‘What is this day in which you fast?’ They said: ‘This is a great day in which Allâh saved Prophet Mûsâ and his people and drowned Pharaoh and his people. Mûsâ used to fast that day to show gratitude to Allâh and we emulate him in doing so.’ The Prophet then said: ‘We have right to Mûsâ more than you.’ So he fast the day and he used to ask people to fast on it.” (Al-Bukhârî and Muslim)

The Messenger of Allâh was also asked of fasting on آshûrâ day and he replied:

“I have hope that Allâh will make it erase all the sins committed in the previous year.”

The Prophet also determined to fast a day before that day in disagreement with the people of the Scripture. He said in this regard:

“If I am remain alive till next year, I will certainly fast the ninth day.”

It is therefore recommended for the Muslims to fast the tenth day of Muharram to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet and in order to get the reward. It is also recommended that they should fast the ninth day so as to disagree with the Jews and in order to uphold the Sunnah. Doing this is an act of showing gratitude to Allâh, and by doing it we are commencing our new year with good deeds.

Salam guys.

Just thought i could provide you guys with an interesting read.
Note: This excerpt was extracted from a book written by a WESTERN author.

The Closed Circle
[Jonathan Coe]

“No, I find this unbelievable,” Munir insisted. “These women are sitting down in a public place, talking to each other about ways of giving oral pleasure to their men, as if they were discussing knitting patterns or recipe books. One of them – that one there – has openly admitted to having sex with 5 different partners in one week! What respect, what respect are these women meant to feel for themselves, for their own bodies? What is happening to society, when this kind of thing is allowed on our screens? What goes through the minds of the people who make it? Look at this, Benjamin!” He walked right up to the screen and pointed at it, as one of the characters gave a practical demonstration of her technique, using the neck of a wine bottle. “This is America today. A land of degenerates! Is it any wonder that the rest of the world today has started to despise them? What kind of... probity can we expect from a nation that conducts itself in such a way? This is a country that professes one thing and then does the opposite – but in full view of everyone! It preaches religion and morality but then its women behave like whores. It forces other countries to disarm but then spends all of its money building up the most terrifying arsenal of nuclear and conventional weapons on the planet. It spits in the face of the Muslim world and stampedes through the Middle East in its thirst for the oil to fill its petrol-guzzling cars and then professes astonishment that a man like Osama bin Laden can exist and believes what he believes. And this – this is where our Prime Minister tells us our allegiance lies. With a nation of cowboys and call-girls!”

Dwell, reflect on it. Do whatever you want.
But you cant as hell deny the truth behind this paragraph.

We claim to be the most advanced civilisation.
But have we not returned to the jahiliah ages?

The believers, men and women are helpers/supporters of one another, they order good and forbid evil and offer their prayers perfectly and pay zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. They are the ones Allah will have mercy on. Indeed, Allah is Most Powerful, Most Wise. Allah has promised the believers - men and women - gardens underneath which rivers flow, where they will dwell forever -and beautiful mansions in Gardens of Paradise. But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme success." [Surah At-Tawba : 71-72]

Subhanallah.
Whoever said that being in a Christian school sways your imaan, there I shall not say you are wrong, for yes, the imaan is constantly being challenged, but it is up the individual himself to stand up for what he believes is true, and that is to Allah.
If only we Muslims stand up for our religion and spread it lovingly to anyone and everyone, without feeling condescended and/or ashamed. If only practicing the religion outside of the mosque is viewed upon in a better light. If only.

Its time for change people.
ITS. TIME.

Salam guys.

So the tide has subsided, alhamdulillah.
My mental state of mind is perfectly fine.

Of course, why wouldnt it?
when you have great company who cheer you up everyday?

I have people acting like The Grinch and a bitchy one at that!



And I have guys who serenade me with their skilful guitar playing...



And yes wei chiang, i can be a bimbo and fall in love with you! =D

So yes, its the unprecedented support that helped the best. People who help me to pull through without even realising it. Sometimes, its best never to expect anything, because its the people who never cross your mind that picks you up and lift you to your feet. And its the people who you yearn for the most, who fail to reach out and seek your hand.

They are no such thing as true friends. the whole load on Best Friends Forever is all bull. its human nature to stray away, to move on. So why treasure a relationship so much, just to end up getting hurt all over again? You'll die and get buried alone anyway.

Im not being a pessimist, nor am I mad at my friends. Life taught me to never depend on anyone unless necessary. For now, i'm just glad to have my fellow saints who are crazy enough to accompany me through these 2 months of my life, and insyAllah, for the next 2 years to come.



ps: the cliques are unintentional ok. its human nature! =D

take a paintbrush and colour your bleak world.
drown your soul in the medley of love songs.
fool everyone with your masquerade.
everyone.
but yourself.

Salam guys.

i'm still alive, alhamdulillah.
and i'm still a saint.
i probably will be for the next 2 years, who knows?

yes, i'm alive.
but its the soul i'm worried about.

too much angst. too much hatred. too much pain. plain fatigue.

perhaps its the fatigue. or perhaps its high time that the dam broke and i begin to feel all these screwed feelings all over again. its worst when your mental and emotional well-being isnt even cared for by your blood relatives.
*****************
i've read self-help books, motivational books, and whatever books that could help make me a better person, and it all comes down to one thing.

LOVE

you've got to be kidding me.

you tell me to love myself.
fuck, i love myself too much to bother about what other people think about me.

you tell me to love my family.
i love them so much that i said fuck to my own well-being for people i have blood relations with.

you tell me to love my friends.
i love them too much that sometimes i feel im just wasting my time over acquaintances that'll leave me one day.

you tell me to love life.
i love life and thank Allah for blessing me with all the goods that i have.

but you dont tell me what love is.
*****************
things are just crazy right now. no, im not referring to jc life. im coping well with it, alhamdulillah. and im grateful for the mere existence of a JC LIFE, because i can occupy myself so much with it that i go home and just sleep.

i used to be addicted to cutting myself. with a penknife. dont ask me why. the marks are still there, on my forearm and thighs.
but i've long left that habit. i found a new one.
i peel my skin. its disgusting i know
i dont care what YOU think. I KNOW ITS WRONG. i just cant help it.
i do it unknowingly.

you've got to understand how difficult it is for me to do this. to tell the damn bloody whole world what i feel, what i do, what i fear. because i JUST DONT DO IT. no matter how freaking outspoken, crazy, enthusiastic you find me, i dont expose myself to the world blindly. i was brought up to JUST SHUT UP. basically, i was brought up to feel and think that "THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT OF WHAT YOU THINK SMARTASS." so essentially, starting a blog was a big step. for me to be able to let go. why? because you just dont talk to yourself every night to sleep and pretend that people care. because you dont talk to your bolster like its a person. and because you need to do something before you go into depression-mode all over again.

thats why,
i dont write down my itinery for the day. i think that just sucks and bore people to death.
i dont post lyrics/songs on my blog because i think its shit.
i write what i feel, what i believe, and what i justify as right.
i dont intend to rally support or sympathy from people.
i just need an avenue to express myself with words.
because i cant do it verbally.
i wasnt brought up that way.

you see, no matter what i say, no matter what they say,
im not ready for love.
i yearn for it, yes, i envy friends who have significant others as confidantes.
but 'experience' taught me to do otherwise.
perhaps its because i wasnt expose to it earlier on in life.
perhaps i had too much selflessness and lack of confidence while in it.
or perhaps...
oh fcuk.

too much angst. too little love.
what is wrong?
astaghfirullah.
Ya Allah, give me the strength i need, and give me guidance, for you are the One and the Almighty.

dont bother to do anything. dont give me the hope of something nonexistent.

SEXY SAV6RDO!

If you wanna see the best knights in town
Just say ARTS FAC and we'll turn around
Oh why do I feel this way?
Hey! Must be Saverdo!

3 full days of crazily fun orientation eats up your brain.
especially if your campus is at the other side of the world.
ok im kidding for that part.
SAJC is only at the OTHER SIDE OF SINGAPORE.

wonders of wonders.
for the first time in my life, i have to wake up at FIVE, leave the house at SIX , JUST. TO. GET. TO. SCHOOL.
darn.

Orientation was hyper. The councillors were dedicated. The place's bursting with high school spirit.
I lost my voice, so that should explain how crazy i went during the 3 days.
we were wet and dirty, we were running all over the place playing sadistic games, and we were cheering like mad hooligans.
ARTS FAC = FUN
but
the monster in me was unleashed. and i was scared
instead of campfire, we had disco nite.
which basically meant we had a free clubbing session where a band was invited to play.
and lets just say, it was a blast from the screwed past.
and i succumbed to the music. which is'nt healthy.

later that night, i cried in fear.
not because i was in a christian mission school where scriptures from the bible are read every morning after assembly.
not because i have to start from scratch again and will probably screw up in EQ department.
and not because i was STILL grooving to the music which included MANY christian songs.
i cried because during that 1.5 hours of dancing and going crazy,
i actually contemplated on feeling regret for changing to the person i am today.
i actually wanted to go back to that lifestyle.
to clubbing. drinking. going crazy without a care for the world.
and so i cried.

astaghfirullah.

i am not going back to square one.

yes i know i've digressed from orientation. but im not going to detail it through. you'll probably be bored to death.

all im saying is, it's one heck of a memorable event. thank you 29th student council for making it what it is. and thank you to my ogl - sharleen, for being such a sweetheart.

the showdown begins next week. and i only have an hour of lesson on Monday! wth?

The thing about 'Respect'
is that society doesnt recognise it anymore.

It is authentically reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) slaughtered two horned rams, black and white in colour, and that he slaughtered them with his own hands. He mentioned the name of Allah Most High (saying Bismillaah), then said Takbir (Allahu-Akbar) and placed his foot on their sides (while slaughtering them). [Bukhari and Muslim. Bukhari English translation - Dr. Muhsin Khan, Vol.2, Pg. 447-448 #770 and 772, 1979]

Honestly, I've seen enough sheep to last me until next aidiladha.
And I've seen enough sacrifices to deter me from sinning.
I was on-duty over at Darul Makmur Mosque, and had to accompany the participants throughout the process, bringing them to the area where the sacrifice was done, meaning i saw more than 10 sacrifices being done. and of course, went home smelling like a goat.
What is qurban, or in the arabic sense, udhiyah?

Udhiyah: Its meaning and definition
Udhiyah refers to the animal (camel, cattle or sheep) that is sacrificed as an act of worship to Allâh, during the period from after the Eid prayer on the Day of Nahr (Eid al-Adha) until the last day of Tashrîq (the 13th day of Dhul-Hijjah), with the intention of offering sacrifice.

Anyway, lets go back to the abovementioned topic.

You see, i caught the fireworks display over at marina bay LIVE!
-on tv-
CNA to be exact. Channel 5's countdown show was shit nonsense, what with taufiq and nurul maideen and the likes prancing about the stage, and possibly hundreds of malays (who's probably muslims) having the time of their lives, partying away. of course, not only at harbourfront, but all over singapore. even malaysia had the sense to respect EidAdha and forego the countdown this year.

It saddens and shames me, and perhaps you too, to have all this hoohaa of countdown celebration, where alcohol runs freely, bodies gyrate energetically and the participants consists of a large group of our fellow brothers and sisters in islam, during a period of time when There aren't any days greater, nor any days in which deeds done in them are more beloved to Allah Most High, than these ten days (of Dhul-Hijjah).

Astaghfirullah.

Respect.
It doesnt exist in these people.
Do they not have respect for EidAdha?
For Islam?
For THEMSELVES?

When most of the Muslim community are busy commemorating the sacrifice done by Nabi Allah Ibrahim, and of course, recite the Takbir to praise Him, as what is to be done,;they're busy downing the booze, losing themselves in the music.

Countdown setahun sekali apa? Pagi kan dah celebrate Hari Raya Haji, malam aku nak pergi countdown tak salah per. Aku nak mabuk ke, aku nak rosakkan anak dara orang ke, aku nyer pasal lah. Dosa aku yang tanggung apa.
That was told to me in the face, by a man who's about to get married.

The reason why i decided to forego going to marina bay with the girls was that they wanted to party. All i could do was advise them to respect Eid, and not get drunk. Its sad, when it involves the people you love.

My remedy?
The Takbir.

At-Takbir (saying: Allahu-Akbar) and adh-Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) in these (ten) days, because of the saying of Allah in Surah al-Hajj Ayah 28:
"...And mention the name of Allah on the appointed Days..."
This has been explained (by some) to mean the ten days (of Dhul-Hijjah). The scholars consider it desirable to increase adh-Dhikr in these days because of the hadith of Ibn 'Umar (radhiAllaahu 'anhumaa) narrated by Ahmad, which says in it,
"...so increase in these days the Tahlil and Takbir and Tahmid".
Bukhari mentioned about Ibn 'Umar and Abu Hurairah (radhiAllaahu 'anhu) that,
"the two of them used to go out to the market place during the ten days (of Dhul-Hijjah) saying 'Allahu-Akbar', causing the people to say it also."
Ishaq narrated from the scholars of the Tabi'in that in these ten days they used to say:
Allahu-Akbar, Allahu-Akbar; Laailaaha illallaah; Wa Allahu-Akbar, Allahu-Akbar; wa lillaahil-hamd.
It is a beloved act to raise the voice when saying the Takbir in the markets, the houses, the streets, the masjids and other places, because of the saying of Allah Most High in Surah al-Hajj Ayah 37:
"... that you may magnify Allah for His Guidance to you.."

It eats you up, you know, seeing your screwed society at work.
And they say we're the most advanced civilisation?

I say we've gone back to the jahiliah era.

Lets see the response from our society, come 1 Muharram.